I have nothing profound to say, by any means. What I do have is experience. As we approach the holiday season I think it’s hard to remember what it’s all about. It’s about joy and peace and the birth of Jesus.
My husband and I have been talking a lot about feelings and support…. Yep, I did it again…. I just dropped the “f bomb”…. Surprisingly enough, I find that I am dropping the “f bomb” more than my therapist! That scares the crap out of me! She used to have to tell me to search for feelings and now I’m dropping them left and right! YIKES! J
As we were talking I’ve found a few things. I came across a quote, “In this life we will encounter hurts and trials that we will not be able to change: we are just going to have to allow them to change us.” – R.L. Davis. This quote says so much in so few words. We can’t help what is thrown at us, but we have to accept that we will learn from it. When you go through tragedy, or anything, you can either let it destroy you and you become bitter, or you can let it make you stronger and let it make you grow. These are choices that we have to make.
Feelings are scary – they are like waves… we can’t stop them from coming…. But we can choose to surf instead of drown. As time has been going on and my therapist has told me that I have to sit with the feelings in order to beat the disorder and move on; I’ve started doing that. Let me tell you it’s hard.
Feelings pass. This is something that is hard to trust and understand, but it’s true. They will come and then they will go. It’s strange how that happens (although every normal person out there probably is thinking “duh”). I spent so much time finding ways to “not let things bother me” but what I was really doing was avoiding dealing with negative feelings. I found that when I’m upset, the feelings will come and go and then I’ll still be there. All will be the same. The world won’t end and things will still be things. Does it suck when you feel them? YES. I think it does for everyone, but they will pass.
The hard part is, if we can hold on and let them pass, we can work through it and become stronger. There is nothing amazing to say toward this other than it has to happen. It is what it is.