On Hope and Joy…

*disclaimer: this post seems quite random and full of a lot of big ideas, but I’m not editing it.

Romans 5:2-5

And  we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;  perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Through faith we find hope and joy.

Hope (noun/verb): the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best; to believe, desire or trust.

Sometimes we have to go on hope. The one thing that our world will always have is hope. Our world will always keep turning as long as there is hope. Without hope, I believe we have nothing.  I was in church the other week and I think I realized that I have to begin to trust again. I have gone so long trying to protect myself from trusting, that I have filtered everything that I think about. I have found that at some point you have to trust and give yourself the chance to know and understand what is right, have faith in it, hope for the best outcome, and trust that you will be provided. You can’t always filter everything (through fear or emotions). We all have the ability to choose and we all have free will. We can do what we want with that free will that we possess. We can choose to see things in a beautiful light, if we want to. We can also choose to find peace if we want to.

1 John 4:17-19

17 This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

19 We love because he first loved us.

 worry less

 We live in fear. We are surrounded by messages that help us living in fear. We are always preparing for the “what if” to happen. We spend so much time thinking about the “what if” situations, that we forget that we have a life and moments in front of us right now. When we always live in the “what if” thinking, we are always living in the fear of what could happen – it leaves us powerless and frozen. Worry gets us nowhere. By being stuck there, we allow our dominate emotion that runs our life to be fear. That dominate emotion is what will drive all of our decisions and lead us where we are going. This is what I did for so long – for too long. What would happen if that dominate emotion changed to hope or love? How much could be different? If you think back to any time that you have seen anyone lose hope, everything begins to go downhill. Think about it – people… teams…. health…. Hope is really one thing that sustains us.

We are not here forever. We are here for a limited amount of time, and while we are here, we can do some amazing things, or we can be miserable. The more we are true to ourselves and love others (and ourselves), the better chance we have to live without fear. Hope and love doesn’t have to be restored by events happening. Hope is a way of thinking. It’s a way of choosing how to live.

Living in fear shortens our existence – if we can push away the fear, we can entertain the beauty of joy, we can drive out worry and be happy. If we can push away fear and have faith, we can find joy. I have found that it doesn’t matter what I do, the eating disorder is and will never be enough. I will have to trust the professionals and follow them on blind faith because I have nothing left. I trust that God will help me make the right choice, and the feeling says to trust and try to let go. I’ve worked so hard to not let go, and now my only option is to just let go. I’ve always trusted my therapist and she has no reason to ever lie, so now it’s time to just stop questioning and just do it. Worry is like sitting in a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere. I have to trust that He will provide. I don’t have to always provide for myself, because I can be given favors.

When you feel like you’re drowning in life – don’t worry, your Lifeguard walks on water.

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