Interest vs. Commitment

interest.committmentThere is a difference between interest and commitment.

 

This quote is right on. This also plays a large role in our world today. The difference between the two words seems so simple, but it really is a large difference, especially in terms of recovery.

 

The difference between being interested in, or committed to recovery is all in the action. It’s the decision that a person has to make and stick to. There are people who are interested in recovery and then there are those who are committed to recovery. I think many of us want to believe we are committed, but this is a tough place to be and stay. When you are committed, you make no excuses and you do everything for the results of being finished with the eating disorder. Those interested are the ones who sway back and forth between sticking to the meal plan, and getting off. From what I’ve seen, there are far more of us “interested” than “committed.”

 

I wanted to say I was committed. I did what they said. I gained all the weight back (oh man was that hard) and I started working on variety. I followed the meal plans and did what they said to jumpstart my body, but then, all of a sudden – the results weren’t the ones I planned for in my head (this lovely epiphany comes thanks to my psychologist that showed me this agonizing reality!). I was committed until my weight started to creep over “goal weight.” I said I would do all they want me to do…. as long as my weight doesn’t climb any more. I said I will do what has to be done, but if the results don’t turn in the favor I want them, then I will prove you were wrong and do it my way. Guess where that got me……

 

So, here I stand, like many others, thinking …. “What now?” Do I do what I’ve been doing, or do I walk forward? Truthfully, I can’t say I’ve been committed for quite some time because when I hit goal weight, I thought this should be over and that my body should be responding in a particular way. I have been interested in recovery for quite some time because I didn’t follow through completely in the hard times. I have been making excuses and saying, “I don’t have time to make dinner.” Or “I really like Lucky Charms” when it’s really the easiest thing to grab (but, let’s be honest… they are magically delicious!). If I want to be committed to recovery, I have to be willing to do what is necessary. We don’t grow when things are easy, we grow when we are faced with challenges. Always Sometimes the right thing to do is the hardest thing to do.

 

How do we find commitment? Well… breaking down commitment to get out of interest:

 

Name your FEAR

We are creatures of habit. We fear the unknown. When we are committing to something, we are putting our trust in that situation and assuming we will come out on top (or as high as we can get). When things don’t go our way, that fear creeps in and tells us the hard way may not work and may not be better. So, what does one do?

Name your fear. If we name it, we can call it what it is and determine the validity in it.

 

Think about it and DECIDE

We are clouded with emotions all the time. Sometimes we need to just step back and look at what is in front of us and determine what we want. It’s incredibly hard to pull emotion out of everything, all the time, but if we make a conscious effort, it can be done. Look at the pros and cons and make a decision, and once it is made, stick to it. Don’t make a liar out of yourself. If you decided that eating all of dinner was the right decision, and you sit down and begin to cry —- oh well… you’ll get through it. The moment you question the decision you made is the moment you have diminished your ability to trust yourself.

 

You’re afraid of personal FAILURE

There is only one way for us all to learn, and that is from mistakes. We learn boundaries this way. If you are afraid of personal failure and it stops you from so much in life, you are going to live a very boring life.

 

You are watching other people struggle with commitment.

This one is hard. I once heard that you become the 5 top people you surround yourself with (or something like that). This is very true. If you only surround yourself with eating disordered people, or struggling people, do you really think you are going to succeed at beating the eating disorder? NEWSFLASH – NO! If you only place yourself around those who are struggling, you will too. If you place yourself around non-ED people, you will be more likely to sticking to your meal plan. Think I’m lying? How many times have you compared your food to other eating disordered people and noticed when they don’t finish or do something that is eating disordered (i.e. chop up their food into little tiny pieces). These relationships start out as something great, but might not end so well.

 

You remember past failures

The past is the past…. We only have what is in front of us, so dwelling on before does nothing for you. End of story.

 

Leave out forever – talk about NOW

We don’t live our lives in the “forever.” It’s a series of present moments that are all thrown together to make our days and experiences. We have no clue what tomorrow will bring. We can commit to something for tomorrow when it could be completely different from where we think it will be right now. We can commit in moments… then all we need is strength for the moments. The more we think about the future and what is ahead, the more pressure we build because we can’t have it all planned out. All I can say is, “I will eat what I’m supposed to right now, and I plan to eat my dinner as required.”

 

Commitment isn’t a walk in the park. It’s always for something that takes longer, or is harder to attain. If we get too far ahead of ourselves, we begin to lose the importance of the journey, and the strength of the commitment. Living in the present and deciding on moments is the next step to conquering this mountain. Commitment is required in almost anything we do these days (college, job, etc.) so getting used to accomplishing it is something that has to be done.

 

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