“Is ‘fat’ really the worst thing a human being can be? Is ‘fat’ worse than ‘vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’ or ‘cruel’? Not to me.”
– J.K. Rowling
From time to time this quote pops into my head. I think about it when something happens to direct me straight to my body. After I realize that I’m criticizing myself for getting
fat healthy, I stop and think – “is this really the worst thing in the world?” Truthfully, saying this is just a band-aid at the moment, but it does help to get through the times when I’m overwhelmed by the thoughts of my body and how it has changed through recovery.
This quote makes perfect sense. Now, it won’t make perfect sense to the media and the social lifestyles of gossip and celebrities… but really, it makes perfect sense to the rest of the world – which is about 99.9% of it.
As I was thinking about this quote, and how it relates to recovery, I realized that it is right on. I hate to admit it, but we are some crazy people when we are IN the eating disorder and not looking at recovery. We are isolated, rude, insincere, distracted, unemotional, cold, vindictive, jealous, shallow, vain and can be cruel as well – (add in any other descriptive words you can think of in your situation). You know it’s true; don’t deny it.
fat health on my body isn’t the worse thing in the world. It is worse when I’m throwing tantrums in treatment telling my dietitian that I hate her…. Or throwing food at my therapist because I can’t stand the feelings (or it)…. Or screaming at my husband for unplugging the treadmill. “ Fat” – “Health” is not as bad as those things. In fact, those things are worse. They take away from who you are as a person. They make you a person you’re not.
“I’ve got two daughters who will have to make their way in this skinny-obsessed world, and it worries me, because I don’t want them to be empty-headed, self-obsessed, emaciated clones; I’d rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny – a thousand things, before ‘thin’.
– J.K. Rowling
With media at the tip of our fingers, it’s hard to look past all the messages. Really, it has to become a choice that you make. It has to be something you choose to ignore.
“Fat-bashing in all its varied forms–criticism, exclusion, shaming, fat talk, self-deprecation, jokes, gossip, bullying–is one of the last acceptable forms of prejudice. From a very young age, before they can walk away or defend themselves, women are taught that they are how they look, not what they do or what they know. ”
― Robyn Silverman
We have to choose not to dive into the body talk that so many people engage in. It’s a commonality that women can find – a part of your body that you don’t like… or the fact that you ate that cupcake and shouldn’t have.
No really, you should have eaten the cupcake because it was damn good.
So moments (during lunches and breaks) when women talk about “having to go to the gym”, “needing to start that diet”, or the discussion of the guilt from “eating that ice cream” need to change…. and that can only be done if you choose to change it.
As women, we aren’t wired to know to change those discussion or thoughts. How do you choose to change it? You stop the conversation. You can state, “You know, hating my body is an exhausting job to keep up with, I’d rather not take that on.” …..
Or, you can ask:
“Why do you feel guilty for eating the ice cream?”
“Why do you have to diet?”
“Why do you have to go to the gym?”
“Will losing 5 lbs really solve your problems?”
Once faced with how stupid and shallow we sound when saying this, we are often left speechless…. we are left with few words to say because all we know is that it is the message received with no backing. We blindly follow what we’ve been told through pictures, media and commercials.
We learn so early that part of our worth is tied up in how we look. Truthfully, it’s not.
We hate a bitchy person – fat or not.
We avoid the chronic liars – fat or not.
We run away from the “negative Nancy” – fat or not.
We do not associate with criminals – fat or not.
The people you choose to spend your time with are typically chosen based on personality…. Let’s be real…. Your looks are not going to keep us friends, especially when I’m bored with conversation.
So, really….. is “fat” really the worst thing
a human you can be?