My anorexia hid the fact that I am a foodie!

I love food. For a long time I was ashamed to admit it. I can’t tell you the first time I felt shame for eating, but I can tell you that I did feel it for a very long time. At first, it started with eating “bad” items, and that just spiraled into everything being a “bad item”. I felt like I was not worthy of food (or so I thought).

As I’m recovering from my eating disorder I have found that I am a foodie. This has become somewhat of a shock to me! I’m not ashamed to admit it – I actually embrace it… with pride! I am a foodie!

Foodie  food·ie      /ˈfo͞odē/   (noun)

 a person who has an ardent or refined interest in food and alcoholic beverages.[1] A foodie seeks new food experiences as a hobby rather than simply eating out of convenience or hunger.

I look at food and wonder how it will taste. I smell food and enjoy it. I try to make delicious food (and often fail). I thoroughly enjoy delicious wine and drinking it with delicious food (although I’m awful at pairing wine and food). And being honest… I eat food and just love it.

(side note – I should probably post about the kitchen disasters I’ve caused because I’m sure many people could get a kick out of it! The chronicles of an anorexic to a foodie…. one kitchen bomb at a time!)

For much of my life, I was ashamed for enjoying food and had thoughts that enjoying food equated that I was a failure for not maintaining some strict diet that could be viewed as commendable. I have spent 2/3 of my life feeling guilty for eating, enjoying food, feeling satiated and/or being okay with eating. Truthfully, I think a lot of people feel this way as I hear many women in the lunch room state, “I was so bad, I ate a piece cake”. Let’s be honest, a piece of cake is not bad unless you do it to excess! Our society is health obsessed in the wrong way and conversation is often centered around what foods we should or should not eat, how bad we have been, how much we should be exercising, and how we need to get motivated to exercise in the wrong ways. So often we don’t focus on healthy relationships with our bodies and with food.

(now I’m trailing off…. *stepping off the pedestal and getting back on track*)

 

I’ve compiled a nice little list…. 🙂

Here are just a few reasons why I’m not ashamed to like food (and be a foodie):

  1. Food is delicious
  2. Ice cream
  3. Salad
  4. It fuels my body to do all the great things I want to do
  5. Wine is delicious
  6. Cheese
  7. Bean dip with tortilla chips
  8. Bread
  9. It’s awesome not feeling tired
  10. Peanut butter
  11. Cupcakes
  12. Soup
  13. Sweet potato fries
  14. Fruit
  15. Smoothies

 

This list is obviously not complete…. and many more reasons could be added 🙂

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4 thoughts on “My anorexia hid the fact that I am a foodie!

  1. I’ve been finding the same thing – but specifically with desserts/sweets/treats! It’s been so long since I’ve even let myself have that kind of thing, I’m amazed at how delicious food can be!

  2. Me too – couldn’t agree more! I can’t believe we lived without this world of amazing food and cooking for so much of our lives….Making up for it now! Thanks for the post 🙂

  3. Can very much resonate with feeling shame over being someone who loves food! It’s only recently in my recovery that I’ve been able to freely admit I do love food and that doesn’t make me greedy!

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